From Sam:
November 22nd, 2019 - Lesson Learned from Accepting Others' Service
Based on my past and current experiences, as well as conversations with others, it is obvious to me that most people would prefer to be the "giver" of service rather than the "receiver." It is hard to admit we need help and expose our vulnerabilities to others. However, as I have been going through chemotherapy I have been humbled and reminded of why it is vital that we allow others to serve us when we are in need.
- Allowing others to help gives me strength/energy to do the most important things
My automatic reaction when someone offers to help is, "Thank you, but I'm good. I've got this." It may not always come across that way, but I am sure the thought that some are thinking when I say that is, "No, you don't 'got this.' You are carrying the burden, but it is slowing you down. How much longer can you carry this before it breaks you?"
Jesus was compelled to carry His cross to Calvary's Hill. Mind you, by that point He had already suffered in Gethsemane, been up all night arraigned before Jewish leaders, questioned by Pilate and scourged, and He still was managing to carry His cross. Amazing. Despite His strength, His progress must have been too slow for the Roman soldiers tasked with crucifying Him, so they compelled Simon of Cyrene to carry the cross the rest of the way. I would like to think that Jesus felt temporary relief as that burden was removed from Him, thus allowing him to gather or preserve whatever strength He had left to endure even greater and necessary suffering--His crucifixion.
I do not suggest that my burden (past, present, or future) is comparable to the Savior's in any way. It is not. But what I learn from this account is that we need to allow others to carry our cross--give us service--so that we can preserve our strength to do the most important things and in some cases, take on even greater challenges that lie ahead.
Even though chemotherapy sucks the energy out of me and is literally forcing my body to slow down, I still want to be able to spend quality time with my husband and children. In order to have the energy I need to be present with my family, I need help. Lots of help. It hasn't been easy to ask for help with meals, child care, cleaning, running errands, home schooling Douglas, taking care of Diana at night, and so on. I like being self-sufficient. However, because I have allowed myself to be humbled and let others help, I have been the beneficiary of ministering and service at its finest. Two words describe my feelings: GRATEFUL and RELIEVED. It is a relief to pass off the burden of cooking to the neighbors who bring meals. It is a relief to know that Douglas is still progressing in his school work because my neighbor has taken that burden. It is a HUGE relief knowing that each night I will be able to sleep (I am so tired) because either a family member or neighbor is taking care of Diana at night. And the list goes on. By allowing others to help me, I am able to preserve my energy to do what's most important--spend quality time with my family and allow my body to heal.
Often, God answers our prayers through other people. I have prayed many prayers to be able to get through the chemotherapy and manage its side effects. I would be denying the Lord's help if I didn't allow others to help me. This is how He is answering my prayers.
- Allowing others to serve not only blesses me (the receiver), but also them (the givers)
"If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well." - James 2:8
"The law is royal because its application has an ennobling and dignifying effect on both parties. The care for the poor is more than a duty, far more than a Christian obligation. It is a royal opportunity to live the 'royal law' where both the giver and the receiver are sanctified by the effort."
- Robert Millet
I noted above some of the ways I have been blessed because of others' service. In addition to the aforementioned, I have also been blessed with an increase of love for, and bonds of friendship with those who have served me. It has given me the opportunity to learn more about my friends and neighbors, and some of the burdens they carry or have carried. Most often, people serve because they have experienced or felt to some degree what we are experiencing. They serve out of compassion and empathy. If I don't accept their service, I deny myself the opportunity to recognize just how similar we are, and that my suffering is not as singular or unique as I think it is. I deny myself the opportunity to make new friendships or strengthen current ones.
Accepting service blesses the giver as well. It gives them an opportunity to extend love and support, and even access the healing they need to allow them to carry their own burdens. Accepting service allows those who have made baptismal covenants with the Lord the opportunity to keep their covenant, which is "to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." (Mosiah 18:9)
As stated in the aforementioned quote by Robert Millet, service has a dignifying effect on both the giver and the receiver. Both are edified and sanctified by the effort.
Right now, my circumstances dictate that I receive more than I am able to give. I know that it won't always be that way. One day I will be well enough to give more than I receive. But whether I am the giver or the receiver, my hope is that I will do it with grace and gratitude--give graciously and be grateful for the opportunity to give, or receive graciously and be grateful for the help God has sent me through someone else.
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A few photos and a video:
Baby Diana sometimes falls asleep chewing on her blanket.
Yeeeeeehaaaaw!
This is where we put them when we want peace in the house. :)
Thanksgiving meal: Diana, Daniel, Douglas, Grandma (Margaret), Grandpa (Doug), Kate, Penny, TayTay (also known as Taylor)
Douglas and I made a snowman tonight. Douglas would have stayed out late into the night, but I got cold.
